I got home at 9 in the mourning. I went straight to sleep, at about 12 the sound of my phone woke me up, usually i cursed whoever wakes me up but when i picked up i heard the most beautiful voice "Hello". I was so sleepy until i heard her "Yes?". "Are you still sleeping baby?" i don't know if she noticed that she called me baby or maybe she knew she did but i pretended i didn't hear it "yeah, we got home at 9". "Damn" she said and laugh a bit "go back to sleep and call me later" i nodded but then remembered i was on the phone "cool". "OK" she said "oh Kyle?" , i chuckled "yes?". "I don't know why, but i miss you so much, i missed you since i walked out of the party yesterday when i got home all i did was think about you" i chuckled and she became quiet. I know it must have taken her a lot of courage to do that, i didnt ant to how it, but inside of me everything lighten up i went to sleep hoping and praying to god that i would hear that from her. "I did too." Now i really wanted to see her, i wanted to go to her house and see her so bad, but the plans i had with my brother wouldn't allow me to.
Call me crazy, but we belong together. I know some people were noticing and some of them thought we wouldn't make it, but the feeling was already too strong. We felt the same. Throughout the day we spoke more and more and every second that passed me by felt like hours. Every minute i shared in a conversation with her was an eternity, and eternity of happiness and willingness to enjoy and re-enjoy and wanted to be spent with that person, and i wouldn't trade that for a world. A car cost alot of money, a cell phone as well, time shared was priceless, for anything else there is MasterCard, but MasterCard wouldn't be able to afford the happiness i knew was about to come for me with her.
I tried to spend as much time as i could with her because i knew she was trying to do the same.
The next finally came i couldn't wait til it was time for me to go see her already, i wanted to see what reaction will she have. As i got there her father was there and her sister as well. Like always the played the music really loud and we proceeded to her father's room for some peace and quietness. "You look real nice today" i said to her, she smiled and tried her best to blink her right eye like i always did, i wouldn't say it came out to perfection but it was sexy and impressive enough to make me smile. I must admit i felt kind of embarrassed smiling in front of her for some reason, but i felt comfortable in which i must admit, its a good feeling. "So what would it be to be your girlfriend?" she asked, my face turned to quick to face her, as if i was surprise but in reality i was waiting for a question or a conversation to put in better words, was to be brought up today. "Well" before i can answer she shook her head and smile and i didn't answer "yesterday at the family get together i wanted to kiss you so bad" she commented "I did too". "Well now you got the chance to do it" i smirked and shook my head "we in your parents room and i dont want to disrespect their house that way" as i finish saying that i felt her lips on mines and it was the greatest feeling ever.
"Are you crazy?" she kissed me again "Yes i am" she kissed me again "Crazy for you" when she said that i kissed her. She stop when i kissed her and gave me that grin raising her eyebrow that can only mean (i got you), i chuckled and i kissed her again and our foreheads rested on one another, nose to nose just quiet breathing deeply with more desire to continue the kiss but knowing where we were at was stopping us. There was something magical about that moment, something that i wont never forget, not because it was out first kiss, and not because of the risk, not because i wanted to kiss her so bad, or even how bad she wanted to kiss me. Not because she let down her guns and i aimed down as well and we just became one soul. Not because we didn't know how or when her arms folded around my neck and my arms surrounded her waist. Not because even with our eyes close we could see each other. Not because we noticed how comparable we were kissing, the timing of it, the movement. How accordingly our lips would move but interact perfectly caressing each other as only a perfect kiss will make it happen.
Not because that second when she bite my lip demonstrated she wanted me and further more not because we felt in an Ecstasy. Out of space. But because we knew there was a war to fight and because somehow we knew we had just united our troops and decided to fight against anyone. That is what was so magical about it, no need for words, we knew what we were getting ourselves into but we were ready to deal with it as it come, when it comes together. We made a promise the best way anyone could. The best words are those unsaid, we spoke with our eyes and everything was so clear, water would'nt be able to beat how crystal clear it was. Our thoughts and love for each other has become so neutral and so alike as someones reflection on a mirror. We thought we were crazy but we knew we belong. Together.
I knew nothing matter and for now, nothing was going to change. Tonight and tomorrow she was and will be mine, and that's the only way i wanted it to be, thats the only way it was to be. Wether in a middle of a war, middle of ressesion and hunger and sadness, we were to be together.
Theme song for this chapter:
Remy Zero - Belong
5.03.2009
(Chapter 4) Lesson Learned
That's how it all started. I was stuck in cell for what i knew a few days in a detention center in Mountgenry County, MD. I couldn't believe i was actually stuck in there, i wanted to get out so bad, but the way it seemed i wasn't going to see the street unless it was out form my cell window until court day. Which was month away. I had no way of contacting anyone in my family only my father, and that was somewhat of a waste of time because i found myself not being able to count on him, for as long as i can remember. It knew it was approximately 2 in the morning, the cells were already so quiet that only meant everyone must has been sleeping, the only thing i could have heard was my cell-mate snoring and me breathing hard and deeply. Not sure why i was breathing so deeply, the coldness the cell was terrible. So bad when i breath i can see it. Afraid of being in there even tho i wasn't afraid i guess nervous or exhausted from not being able to sleep and doing push ups and crunches the whole night.
Another half hour must have passed because the Correctional Office walked by for a check. I decided i go to bed. i lay down and right when i closed my eyes i hear my name. I chuckled to myself, i knew god work his way but i had just finished praying about 10 minutes ago, i guess i was illusionating. I closed my eyes one more time and hear my name louder and my cell-mate, hitting my bunk "nigga they calling you" usually at that time they called my cell-mate for meds, not me, i walked to my cell door and the C.O approaches "C'mon kid, you have been placed a bail, you wanna go or you wanna stay?" i couldn't believe it. I look at my cell-mate and i don't remember exactly what i said, and just rushed out of my cell. By the time the process was completed it was 6:35 am on a Thursday mourning, i was informed. Ive gotten arrested on a Sunday, i was in here all this time and didn't know. i barely eat, didn't shower, my hair looked like it stunk, i was so desperate to get out i didn't put my Nike Boots on, i walked out on the sanders i was given inside. My sock stunk as hell.
When they opened the release gate, i saw the two faces i didn't expect to see, but knew that were the only ones that would help if i did find a way to get in contact with them. I didnt know where to put my face of the shame, i was nervous i wanted to run and hug both my brothers but their face expression said it all. I wanted to cry but with so much things that has happened to me in this hell of a life that i've lived, i've forgotten how to cry. I don't remember when was the last time i shed a tear, and for some reason i am glad that i didn't. To me a tear is a sign of weakness, and with the life ive lead i have to be strong, and stronger, no time for weakness. So i did what i always do when i mix emotion, i smiled, i laugh as if all this was nothing but a funny experienced. Deep inside i knew these laughs were nothing but a cover, to undercover my cowardliness and my shame. First thing i did i apologized to both my brothers and thanked them, second thing i hugged my brothers, third thing i did, thank god.
It was then as we were in the car on my way to my brothers house i realized a lot of things and gave a thought to my stupidities and noticed how immature i have been. Having a one year old child and not being responsible to provide my child as i should. Be there for him at the moment understanding a jail cell isn't a way or the place to tell my son im sorry. it was a lesson, an assignment that has been given to me and now i must complete. I have to upgrade myself, better myself not only for me, but because as a man my son will need me to guide the way. I am the road in which he will be raising and i am the book he will be reading and i mus served not only as a father but also as a friend and brother and set the best example i can. I once read, a man wont be judge by the mistake his made, but what he learned and how he fixed them. This chapter of my life, is one i don't want to be a part of my sons. Admitting your mistake is the best way to grow, learning from them, is the only way you can truly teach.
On my way back to NYC that's when was explained to me and i learned that my now mother in law helped me get out of there. That's when my brother told me that she has been asking for me, that when is he going to take me because she wanted to see me. At that moment i knew something magical was about to happen.
Themes song for this chapter:
Another half hour must have passed because the Correctional Office walked by for a check. I decided i go to bed. i lay down and right when i closed my eyes i hear my name. I chuckled to myself, i knew god work his way but i had just finished praying about 10 minutes ago, i guess i was illusionating. I closed my eyes one more time and hear my name louder and my cell-mate, hitting my bunk "nigga they calling you" usually at that time they called my cell-mate for meds, not me, i walked to my cell door and the C.O approaches "C'mon kid, you have been placed a bail, you wanna go or you wanna stay?" i couldn't believe it. I look at my cell-mate and i don't remember exactly what i said, and just rushed out of my cell. By the time the process was completed it was 6:35 am on a Thursday mourning, i was informed. Ive gotten arrested on a Sunday, i was in here all this time and didn't know. i barely eat, didn't shower, my hair looked like it stunk, i was so desperate to get out i didn't put my Nike Boots on, i walked out on the sanders i was given inside. My sock stunk as hell.
When they opened the release gate, i saw the two faces i didn't expect to see, but knew that were the only ones that would help if i did find a way to get in contact with them. I didnt know where to put my face of the shame, i was nervous i wanted to run and hug both my brothers but their face expression said it all. I wanted to cry but with so much things that has happened to me in this hell of a life that i've lived, i've forgotten how to cry. I don't remember when was the last time i shed a tear, and for some reason i am glad that i didn't. To me a tear is a sign of weakness, and with the life ive lead i have to be strong, and stronger, no time for weakness. So i did what i always do when i mix emotion, i smiled, i laugh as if all this was nothing but a funny experienced. Deep inside i knew these laughs were nothing but a cover, to undercover my cowardliness and my shame. First thing i did i apologized to both my brothers and thanked them, second thing i hugged my brothers, third thing i did, thank god.
It was then as we were in the car on my way to my brothers house i realized a lot of things and gave a thought to my stupidities and noticed how immature i have been. Having a one year old child and not being responsible to provide my child as i should. Be there for him at the moment understanding a jail cell isn't a way or the place to tell my son im sorry. it was a lesson, an assignment that has been given to me and now i must complete. I have to upgrade myself, better myself not only for me, but because as a man my son will need me to guide the way. I am the road in which he will be raising and i am the book he will be reading and i mus served not only as a father but also as a friend and brother and set the best example i can. I once read, a man wont be judge by the mistake his made, but what he learned and how he fixed them. This chapter of my life, is one i don't want to be a part of my sons. Admitting your mistake is the best way to grow, learning from them, is the only way you can truly teach.
On my way back to NYC that's when was explained to me and i learned that my now mother in law helped me get out of there. That's when my brother told me that she has been asking for me, that when is he going to take me because she wanted to see me. At that moment i knew something magical was about to happen.
Themes song for this chapter:
Ray LaMontagne - Lesson Learned
4.27.2009
Chapter 3 You and Me
"So Kyle" she said as i sit next to her. I looked at her and chuckled, i couldn't believe i had canceled the plans i had for almost a month just to be sitting here next to her. But it was great tho, that's one thing i must admit, it was great. In that moment i knew were ready for each other, we were one in the same because her to cancel her plans to be here. In all this years these is the first time im in a party with family members and in all these years Ive known her this is the first time that we are in a party together. "Yes?". "Are you hungry?" she asked her eyes gleaming with every time the flash went of any camera. "No, I'M ok i guess, just want to sit here and drink a bit". It was March 14th 2009, we were celebrating the Birthday of my brother's wife's cousin. Her mother who is someone who knows me since i was barely teen is sitting across from us, she had a smile on her face, i think she already knew what was going on or what was going to happen tho she was playing it off.
That same day few hours earlier she had ask me to convince her daughter not to go to the party she was planing to go. Everyone thought it was impossible to convince her, it took me 3 seconds. I Walked up to her and smile, gave that famous blink on my left eye that makes her blush and giggle "You're staying with me and the family tonight" she looked into my eyes and chuckled "Ok" was the only thing she said. "Cool, when i go home you come with me, like that i get dress and we go to the party from there" and just like i said, it was done. No Pressure, no fighting, no misunderstanding, just pure desire of wanting to spend more time with one another. Back in the party it was getting crowded, some young guy about my age walked in and sit next to us, every time she gets up he looks at her, every time she walks by he looks at her, every time he looks at her i wanna choke him, but i laugh instead. For some reason i am jealous of this, but know i shouldn't because she isn't anything to me yet.
"You know i could've been having way more fun with my friends" she says, the music so loud we had to literately scream at each other tho we were next to each other, but this wasn't a problem. "But you're here with us". "Nope" she replied and pause for a second. "I'm here with you" for the first time in as long as i can remember someone other than my son place a smile on my face "you look cute smiling" i blink my left eye one more time "you lucky you got to see that smile, who knows if you play your cards right you might see it more often" she smiles as well. At that moment all i saw was a flash, and the first picture of me and her was taken. I shook my head and looked to the side and everyone was looking at us. The whole night people were staring it could have been because of 3 reason, but every reason felt to be ll because of one. 1st Some didn't know me and some found it weird i was actually there. 2nd she was here and not talking to anyone else. 3rd Are they a couple?.
"Now i'm getting hungry" as soon as i said it she got up and went to serve me something to eat. When she gave me the plate and a can of Coors Light everyone looked some smiled, some shook their head, her mother pretended not to see what was going on. Her mother always liked me, but wouldn't imaging me as her son in law, she was to used to me having different females every 3 days. She seen it happen and heard the many stories. The whole night was going great until everyone started sending me messages on Aim. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone but Ivy my best friend who i was telling her everything that was happening and what i was feeling for this girl. "Do something i really don't want anyone bothering me, if i talk to someone has to be Ivy". She nodded "Who's Ivy?" she asked confused. "Ivy is my best friend and i must tell you, if Ivy doesn't approve you, you cant be my girl" she looked at me and nodded. I didn't know what she did, but whatever she did worked perfect because my aims stoped going off the hook as they were few minutes ago. Then i received an IM (instant message) From Ivy that said "Wifey?" and that's when i realized why everyone stop sending me messages. My away message said "This is Wifey, Right now me and my man are spending sometime together no one IM's unless is Ivy". I chuckled then received another message from Ivy, "good job on the unless is Ivy" that was a good sign.
Her, her mother and her sister left at 5:30 am. After being there for 15 minutes alone and tired of answering the same question everyone were asking me. "No, there's absolutely nothing going on between me and her" but i always finished that sentence in my mind "yet!". That was it, i was determined to make her mine, i already had it figured in my brain, that she was my future. That our lives are and will and is suppose to become a life, a single life, we were meant to be one person. She had everything i wanted in a female and i noticed that in this one night that she was it. All my live searching and here she is. There alone i wrote her an email that i never sent to her or even mentioned. "Today i forget what day was it, the time froze and me and you were the only two people alive. In the mist of all this noise and in the middle of all this dancing and drinking i could'nt find words to express how i felt, i had many relationship but i noticed i was just wasting so much time, you have always been there. So close but yet so far. So much going on and i cant keep my eyes off you. Im writing his and im tripping in my own words, i wanted to writer a good email but it not seem to be coming out the way i want it to come out, so i will just stop that even tho there's so much people in the world, i want my world to be just you and me."
That same day few hours earlier she had ask me to convince her daughter not to go to the party she was planing to go. Everyone thought it was impossible to convince her, it took me 3 seconds. I Walked up to her and smile, gave that famous blink on my left eye that makes her blush and giggle "You're staying with me and the family tonight" she looked into my eyes and chuckled "Ok" was the only thing she said. "Cool, when i go home you come with me, like that i get dress and we go to the party from there" and just like i said, it was done. No Pressure, no fighting, no misunderstanding, just pure desire of wanting to spend more time with one another. Back in the party it was getting crowded, some young guy about my age walked in and sit next to us, every time she gets up he looks at her, every time she walks by he looks at her, every time he looks at her i wanna choke him, but i laugh instead. For some reason i am jealous of this, but know i shouldn't because she isn't anything to me yet.
"You know i could've been having way more fun with my friends" she says, the music so loud we had to literately scream at each other tho we were next to each other, but this wasn't a problem. "But you're here with us". "Nope" she replied and pause for a second. "I'm here with you" for the first time in as long as i can remember someone other than my son place a smile on my face "you look cute smiling" i blink my left eye one more time "you lucky you got to see that smile, who knows if you play your cards right you might see it more often" she smiles as well. At that moment all i saw was a flash, and the first picture of me and her was taken. I shook my head and looked to the side and everyone was looking at us. The whole night people were staring it could have been because of 3 reason, but every reason felt to be ll because of one. 1st Some didn't know me and some found it weird i was actually there. 2nd she was here and not talking to anyone else. 3rd Are they a couple?.
"Now i'm getting hungry" as soon as i said it she got up and went to serve me something to eat. When she gave me the plate and a can of Coors Light everyone looked some smiled, some shook their head, her mother pretended not to see what was going on. Her mother always liked me, but wouldn't imaging me as her son in law, she was to used to me having different females every 3 days. She seen it happen and heard the many stories. The whole night was going great until everyone started sending me messages on Aim. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone but Ivy my best friend who i was telling her everything that was happening and what i was feeling for this girl. "Do something i really don't want anyone bothering me, if i talk to someone has to be Ivy". She nodded "Who's Ivy?" she asked confused. "Ivy is my best friend and i must tell you, if Ivy doesn't approve you, you cant be my girl" she looked at me and nodded. I didn't know what she did, but whatever she did worked perfect because my aims stoped going off the hook as they were few minutes ago. Then i received an IM (instant message) From Ivy that said "Wifey?" and that's when i realized why everyone stop sending me messages. My away message said "This is Wifey, Right now me and my man are spending sometime together no one IM's unless is Ivy". I chuckled then received another message from Ivy, "good job on the unless is Ivy" that was a good sign.
Her, her mother and her sister left at 5:30 am. After being there for 15 minutes alone and tired of answering the same question everyone were asking me. "No, there's absolutely nothing going on between me and her" but i always finished that sentence in my mind "yet!". That was it, i was determined to make her mine, i already had it figured in my brain, that she was my future. That our lives are and will and is suppose to become a life, a single life, we were meant to be one person. She had everything i wanted in a female and i noticed that in this one night that she was it. All my live searching and here she is. There alone i wrote her an email that i never sent to her or even mentioned. "Today i forget what day was it, the time froze and me and you were the only two people alive. In the mist of all this noise and in the middle of all this dancing and drinking i could'nt find words to express how i felt, i had many relationship but i noticed i was just wasting so much time, you have always been there. So close but yet so far. So much going on and i cant keep my eyes off you. Im writing his and im tripping in my own words, i wanted to writer a good email but it not seem to be coming out the way i want it to come out, so i will just stop that even tho there's so much people in the world, i want my world to be just you and me."
4.26.2009
Chapter 2 Desire
"Wow" i said to myself as i left. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. There was something about her that attracted me a little bit more than girls usually do. She was the first girl to caused something like this in me. In just a couple of minutes i was there she had already made a difference in me. That impact couldn't be denied, unrecognizably enough i had forgetten of all my problems and now all i thought about was her. Having just gotten kicked out of where i was for about a year and a couple of months was nothing but something the wind has taken.
She became an Oasis in my heart. Just like in the desert, A fertile or green spot in a desert or wasteland, made so by the presence of water, my heart had a lighted, red spot made by the presence of this desirable feeling that seeing her again has caused. All that dry love, the emptiness inside of me was slowly filling up, like a tub as the water comes from the key. Some may think i was going crazy for feeling this way, but if being crazy feels this great i rather be crazy next to her for the rest of my life.
On the ride home to my brothers house he asked what i thought of her, I with all honesty couldn't answered that question. It was like traffic. So many cars you cant barely move, i had so many answers i dint know which one to say. My body was in traffic and my mind was in a raise. The thoughts were going by so quickly i can only see the blirt. I started a though and ended with another one, that's when i realize what people in love mean when they say, they cant stop thinking about someone. For someone like me that was so easy to get into a girls mind, it was being difficult to take this girl our of my mind.
When i got home i logged into MySpace. I knew this was the only way i can get to her without making it seem what i was persuing. Me personally i already wanted her, where was i in her mind i wasnt really sure. My grandmother told me before she passed away that sometimes your love for someone is big enough to share it with someone and feel love. I was setting that plan in motion, the blueprint was already built inside of me. She did have someone and she seemed to be in love with that person and i was raised not to break anyone relationship or be the caused of a brake up.
"Are you going back over there tomorrow?" i asked my brother. "I go everyday" he said, that wasn't the answer i was expecting, but it was the greatest news i had in years. At the moment i wanted to go to sleep already so that the time for me to arrive at her house was near. I Desired her so Eternally and wished she did the same for me. They say be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.
When we got there the next day, I cant say i was nervous, ive never been someone to get nervous, Im too good at keeping my cool. Id suffer so much as i grew up that tears has been wasted and i hide all my emotions under a smile or a blink on my left eye. She caused both of those in less then 30 seconds when i walked in the hallway and she was waiting with the door open, with the most greetinful smile on her face.
(still working!!!!!!!!!)
She became an Oasis in my heart. Just like in the desert, A fertile or green spot in a desert or wasteland, made so by the presence of water, my heart had a lighted, red spot made by the presence of this desirable feeling that seeing her again has caused. All that dry love, the emptiness inside of me was slowly filling up, like a tub as the water comes from the key. Some may think i was going crazy for feeling this way, but if being crazy feels this great i rather be crazy next to her for the rest of my life.
On the ride home to my brothers house he asked what i thought of her, I with all honesty couldn't answered that question. It was like traffic. So many cars you cant barely move, i had so many answers i dint know which one to say. My body was in traffic and my mind was in a raise. The thoughts were going by so quickly i can only see the blirt. I started a though and ended with another one, that's when i realize what people in love mean when they say, they cant stop thinking about someone. For someone like me that was so easy to get into a girls mind, it was being difficult to take this girl our of my mind.
When i got home i logged into MySpace. I knew this was the only way i can get to her without making it seem what i was persuing. Me personally i already wanted her, where was i in her mind i wasnt really sure. My grandmother told me before she passed away that sometimes your love for someone is big enough to share it with someone and feel love. I was setting that plan in motion, the blueprint was already built inside of me. She did have someone and she seemed to be in love with that person and i was raised not to break anyone relationship or be the caused of a brake up.
"Are you going back over there tomorrow?" i asked my brother. "I go everyday" he said, that wasn't the answer i was expecting, but it was the greatest news i had in years. At the moment i wanted to go to sleep already so that the time for me to arrive at her house was near. I Desired her so Eternally and wished she did the same for me. They say be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.
When we got there the next day, I cant say i was nervous, ive never been someone to get nervous, Im too good at keeping my cool. Id suffer so much as i grew up that tears has been wasted and i hide all my emotions under a smile or a blink on my left eye. She caused both of those in less then 30 seconds when i walked in the hallway and she was waiting with the door open, with the most greetinful smile on her face.
(still working!!!!!!!!!)
4.20.2009
(Cahpter 1) Deja Vu
The illusion of having already experienced something actually being experienced for the first time. I never experienced such a thing but. Just like a Deja Vu, something you've seen before, this time it wasn't a movement or an action, it was something in my gut. Like a switch in the wall that turns the light in the selling, something inside of me controlled my nerves, i lost track of time, couldn't breath, couldn't talk, my heart had no beat. I felt it inside of me something dropped and instantly came back up to regain my composure. Just like many years ago whenever i looked at her and wished to share the same air she breathed. Her long hair waved as she turned around to look at me, her full blooded round pinkish lips opened up in a bit of a shock, guess the feeling was mutual. Her dark brown dangerously but gorgeous eyes looked into my hazels and we both lighten up. Then she did it, she raised on her right eyebrow and that motion told me everything i needed and wanted to know. That just liked me, she had felt the Deja Vu of feeling, love came in and as if we knew we were meant to be together, somehow we knew this was suppose to happen, that next time we see each other will be the beginning of our relationship. We opened up our doors and didn't know we did.
"Long time no see" she spoke, her voice was somewhat the same but the sexiness of the maturity in her was astonishing. As always i kept my cool, i nodded and approached to a kiss on her right cheek. Then, the Kyle i had always been came out of me, I've became the fall back, all into myself, straight ahead young guy i have always been. I noticed that just like in those days, this had a turn on her, i was glad, because i could be myself around. Something as small and unimportant like that is indeed so important. every relationship and most friendships i have had in the past i had to pretend being someone i am not, right at this second i noticed i belong, me, my persona, belong, just the way i am. I flexed my shoulders and proceeded to start a conversation. "You look, the same" in my mind "you look so much beautiful". She laughed and blushed and shook her head "you look the same too, just a bit older" i chuckle knowing exactly what she meant by that.
My brother walked away at the moment, he caught on to what was going on and decided to give us some space. He has always been good for that. He always knew what to do when it comes to this type of things. Even tho in one thing he was wrong. Deep inside i knew, as well as she knew that he thought i was just going to try to get in her pants and have her become another girl who have had a piece of me, but in my mind, only one thing rounded "what the hell am i thinking?". "So I've heard you have a kid now". I nodded, "yes indeed i do my baby boy". She nodded "are you with his mother" i raised my eyebrows "nope" and looked into her eyes, a grin came across her face, i pretended i didn't see that "really?" she asked "Really!" was my answer.
"I have a boyfriend" she said afterwards, i looked at her and nodded followed with a chuckled, i am too sure of myself to let that bother me or let my guards down, i knew where she was going plus it wouldn't surprise me "but we not really together, his in jail". "Is he?" she nodded me showing me pictures of him, for some reason it didn't bothered me, and for another reason i knew this wasn't going to be much of a problem or obstacle. "Have mom and my sister seen you?". "Nope" the way i said it, made it seem as if i saved the spot of the first to see me for her specially, in reality, that's exactly what i intended to do.
There were no need for photographs or year books to remind me, how beautiful she was or to tell me how beautiful of a relationship i will make out of someone like her. As a souvenir i wanted her, for a token of loved i wanted a kiss.
Theme for this Chapter!!! De' Ja' Vu..
"Long time no see" she spoke, her voice was somewhat the same but the sexiness of the maturity in her was astonishing. As always i kept my cool, i nodded and approached to a kiss on her right cheek. Then, the Kyle i had always been came out of me, I've became the fall back, all into myself, straight ahead young guy i have always been. I noticed that just like in those days, this had a turn on her, i was glad, because i could be myself around. Something as small and unimportant like that is indeed so important. every relationship and most friendships i have had in the past i had to pretend being someone i am not, right at this second i noticed i belong, me, my persona, belong, just the way i am. I flexed my shoulders and proceeded to start a conversation. "You look, the same" in my mind "you look so much beautiful". She laughed and blushed and shook her head "you look the same too, just a bit older" i chuckle knowing exactly what she meant by that.
My brother walked away at the moment, he caught on to what was going on and decided to give us some space. He has always been good for that. He always knew what to do when it comes to this type of things. Even tho in one thing he was wrong. Deep inside i knew, as well as she knew that he thought i was just going to try to get in her pants and have her become another girl who have had a piece of me, but in my mind, only one thing rounded "what the hell am i thinking?". "So I've heard you have a kid now". I nodded, "yes indeed i do my baby boy". She nodded "are you with his mother" i raised my eyebrows "nope" and looked into her eyes, a grin came across her face, i pretended i didn't see that "really?" she asked "Really!" was my answer.
"I have a boyfriend" she said afterwards, i looked at her and nodded followed with a chuckled, i am too sure of myself to let that bother me or let my guards down, i knew where she was going plus it wouldn't surprise me "but we not really together, his in jail". "Is he?" she nodded me showing me pictures of him, for some reason it didn't bothered me, and for another reason i knew this wasn't going to be much of a problem or obstacle. "Have mom and my sister seen you?". "Nope" the way i said it, made it seem as if i saved the spot of the first to see me for her specially, in reality, that's exactly what i intended to do.
There were no need for photographs or year books to remind me, how beautiful she was or to tell me how beautiful of a relationship i will make out of someone like her. As a souvenir i wanted her, for a token of loved i wanted a kiss.
Theme for this Chapter!!! De' Ja' Vu..
Introduction
Just like a Deja Vu, something you've seen before, this time it wasn't a movement or an action, it was something in my gut, something inside of me controlled my nerves, i lost track of time, couldn't breath, couldn't talk, my heart had no beat, just feel, i felt it, just like many years ago, her long hair waved as she turned around to look at me, her full blooded lips, dark brown dangerously but gorgeous eyes looked into my hazels and that raised on her right eyebrow told me everything i needed and wanted to know. That just liked me, she had felt the Deja Vu of feeling, love came in and as if we knew we were meant to be together, we felt in love. An Immortal Love. We became Drawned.
We were so different, but the differences made us so much alike, I hated the fact that i loved her so much because instead of wanting to see her, i needed to see her, feel her, have her next to me as much as what this beating object inside my chest desired. How can something so wrong feel so good. My grandmother told me once, dont make someone you're everything, because once their gone, you're left with nothing. Id Take my chances.
Theme song: My Immortal-Evanescenes
We were so different, but the differences made us so much alike, I hated the fact that i loved her so much because instead of wanting to see her, i needed to see her, feel her, have her next to me as much as what this beating object inside my chest desired. How can something so wrong feel so good. My grandmother told me once, dont make someone you're everything, because once their gone, you're left with nothing. Id Take my chances.
Theme song: My Immortal-Evanescenes
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